Elsa Anna Bare Corona
by yumi michiyo
Summary: Best friends Elsa and Anna embark on a summer holiday in Corona. Anna gets herself into a host of innuendo-laden situations – all completely misinterpreted by Elsa, of course. Which is bad, because they maybe, sorta, kinda like each other. A fun and naughty romp of epic proportions. Rated for adult themes, implied sexual situations, and language.
1. Corona

**Author's Note**: Y'all can thank **Dicta License** and her autocorrect for the idea. The title comes from a bastardization of **Vicky Cristina Barcelona** (2008).

* * *

"Corona?"

"Corona!" said Anna excitedly, thrusting the tickets under Elsa's nose; the blonde girl quickly jerked her head away to avoid the impending papercut. "Aren't you excited?"

"Anna, it's the beginning of summer. We won't be able to get a room anywhere. The whole town'll be packed to the rafters."

"I've always loved the idea of sleeping on the roof!" giggled the redhead. Elsa threw a pillow at her.

"Given that you snore like a freight train passing through, I think you'll get your wish."

Anna gasped in outrage, and flung the pillow back. It missed Elsa's head by a significant margin, and crashed into a desk lamp. Both girls winced.

"Well," the redhead continued, her cheeks turning crimson as she pointedly avoided looking in that direction, "at least we'll get to meet people from everywhere!"

Elsa shrugged. At this point, she was already resigned to spending her summer break being towed around Corona by her very excitable best friend, but the petulant expression Anna wore was just begging the older girl to continue her teasing.

"Anna, which part of _not going to get a place to stay because we bought last-minute tickets to the hottest summer destination for impoverished young Europeans_ do you not get?"

"You worry too much, Elsa," giggled Anna, flopping onto the bed. "I've already arranged it all. Did you think I was a complete airhead?"

"… Yes."

The redhead stuck her tongue out. "I'm not gonna even dignify that with a response."

"I think you meant to say, a _mature _response."

"Hush. You're distracting me." Anna sat up, tossing her braids back over her shoulder. "I called a friend of a friend of some guy I met in a bar once. His friend's cousin knows someone who runs a backpackers' hostel in Corona… and long story short, we got a place to stay!"

Elsa smirked. "And the degree of removal isn't worrying at all."

"Of course not!" huffed Anna, reaching over to smack the blonde's arm for her impertinence. "It's a pretty established, uhhh, _establishment,_ with a rich history _and_ it has plenty of character, tradition, and charm!"

"... In other words, it's old and run-down."

Anna scowled. "You are such a grouch."

"Thank you," said Elsa dryly, pushing herself to her feet and walking over to her chest of drawers. "I do try." She slid open the top drawer, delicately extracting clothes.

"Aha!" exclaimed Anna gleefully. "Packing! I knew it. You couldn't resist the allure, the mystery, the rrrrrromance!" As she trilled the last word, she flung an arm over her face for dramatic effect. It was completely lost on Elsa.

"Those I can do without." The blonde arranged the clothing into neat piles on her bed. "I am in desperate need, however, of my summer break."

"Wouldn't it be nice to meet someone though?" sighed Anna. "A summer fling with a tall and fair stranger. Strolling hand-in-hand along the boulevards. Sharing sandwiches at a café!"

Elsa rolled her eyes and crossed the room to retrieve her backpack from the closet. "You read too many romance novels."

"And you don't read enough!" Anna propped her head up on her arms. "No wonder they call you the Snow Queen of campus. How many guys have you frozen out so far? Like, brr."

Elsa retrieved the pillow from behind the desk and took careful aim. It flew in a wide arc and landed smack on Anna's head, prompting a muffled shriek.


	2. Cindy

**Author's Notes:** I lied. This isn't a drabble, but who cares.

* * *

The inn – Elsa was pleasantly surprised to see it _could_ be called as such – was cosy and tolerably clean, and Anna was happy enough ("Oooh, look, Elsa! It's even got a sauna!") with the facilities. The innkeeper, a burly man named Oaken, handed them the keys to their four-bed backpackers' dormitory and wished them a pleasant stay.

Currently, the only cloud on Elsa's horizon was their dorm mate.

"Cindy," said the blonde girl, proffering a hand which Anna shook enthusiastically.

"I'm Anna, and this is Elsa!"

Elsa nodded a hello, taking in the tube top and skimpy leather skirt which resembled bandages more closely than actual clothing. _Good heavens, are those kitten heels?_

Cindy barely spared Elsa a glance, her eyes travelling over the t-shirt and denim cutoffs Anna wore, and she grinned suddenly. "Lovely to meet you."

Elsa couldn't tell if she was talking about them, or Anna's chest.

Anna, bless her, was oblivious. "Likewise!"

* * *

"She's rather nice, don't you think?" enthused Anna when their dorm mate excused herself for a moment. Elsa paused to choose her next words carefully; she had a few choice ones regarding the girl and her fashion sense, none of them very complimentary at all.

"Nice is a very subjective word."

Anna snorted. "Don't make me use my pillow on you again."

"That's assuming you'll actually manage to hit your target."

"I don't have to throw it, you know. I could just walk over there and beat you to death with it."

And that was what Cindy walked in on; Elsa squirming on her bed, helpless with laughter, and Anna straddling her waist, attempting to bludgeon her with a pillow.

"Looks like fun," she purred. "Mind if I cut in?"

"_Yes_," said Elsa, just as Anna said "Not at all!" rather breathlessly.

Cindy glanced in between them and laughed. "You know what? Thanks, but no thanks. I've got a date to get ready for."

"Date?"

"Yeah, with Prince Charming."

Anna giggled, tossing her pillow aside, the war already forgotten. "That can't be his name."

"That's what I intend to find out." She bent down and yanked out a pair of hot-pink stilettos from under her bed, kicking off her kitten heels. Elsa blinked; she had never seen a pair of heels scream "fuck me" as loudly as the pair Cindy was strapping on her feet. Anna was gaping openly, and her friend felt distinctly unsettled for some reason. She hastily pushed those errant thoughts aside.

"Those shoes are incredible!"

Cindy smirked, giving the strap a last tug and striking a pose. "You like them?"

"Oh, yeah. I could never wear something that high, though. I'd probably trip and fall. You know, at my senior prom, I wore heels that weren't half as high and I swear, I didn't look half as good as you do."

"I'm sure that's not true," said Cindy kindly.

"Oh, but it is." Anna looked very serious, but her lips threatened to twitch into a smile. "I spent most of the evening either in a chair, or being carried around by my boyfriend."

"Carried, huh?"

"That was a last resort, after spending the first hour face-down on whatever I happened to trip onto."

Elsa's face darkened a little. Her boyfriend. That smarmy kid hadn't known how lucky he was to have Anna all over him – literally – that night.

"Elsa?" The blonde blinked, coming back from her reverie; Cindy was looking straight at her, as Anna rambled on in the background. "You're all red. You okay?"

"Yes," said Elsa automatically, flushing an even more spectacular shade of scarlet, wondering for a instant if her thoughts were written all over her face.

The girl tossed her a salacious wink. "Hey, why don't you two come with me?"

"On your date?" asked Anna incredulously. Elsa tried not to nod too furiously. "Are you sure?"

"Why not?" Cindy pulled out an alice band, tucking it into her glossy wheat-coloured hair. "I don't even know that dude's _name_, for crying out loud. If my handsome prince turns out to be a pumpkin, I'm gonna need some fairy godmothers to get me out of there, pronto."

Elsa was liking the direction of the conversation less and less. "I hope you're not expecting us to put on fairy wings and wave our magic wands," she said dryly, and Anna snorted; she quickly clapped both hands over her face, turning as red as her hair.

"I had something a little less... _traditional_, in mind." Cindy sashayed over, the lilt of her hips impossible to ignore. "Tell me, are any of you up for a little experimentation?"

* * *

_Experimentation,_ grumbled Elsa to herself, toying with her drink. _So that's what they're calling it these days. Stupid bimbos with their stupid sexy stilt shoes, and their stupid strips of leather they call miniskirts. _She drained the bottle of cider in one massive gulp and signalled the waiter for another. This was her second, third bottle? The blonde seriously couldn't remember._  
_

A little way from her, in the middle of the dancefloor, Cindy and Anna were dancing together. Cindy had gotten bored of waiting around for him to show and dragged Anna onto the floor claiming, "two hot girls grinding attracts men like bees to a honeypot".

But if she was honest with herself, Elsa was mildly horrified at how scathing she was of Cindy. She wasn't truly bad; just a little forward and brash. Still a good kid. Elsa took the new bottle of cider with a smile, and vowed to be a little nicer.

Then she saw Cindy slip her arms around Anna's waist and dip her face closer.

"Bitch."

* * *

"Uhm, Cindy? What are you doing?" mumbled Anna nervously. The smirk on the blonde's face widened.

"Nothing," she whispered, her hot breath tickling Anna's ear and causing her to shiver. "He's looking this way, play along, sweetie."

"How?"

"Follow my lead." Her hips moved sinuously, gyrating up and down. Anna attempted to copy her movements. Hers was a lot jerkier, but Cindy only laughed, and moved her hands to Anna's hips. "Relax. Feel the beat."

Anna made a small noise of irritation. "I'm already feeling it."

"No, you're not." One hand slid down the redhead's spine and she yelped, clutching Cindy's elbows reflexively.

"H-hey!"

"Chill. God, I knew I should have pumped you with more liquor before bringing you out here." The blonde girl manipulated Anna's hips like a puppetmaster. "Come on, Iversen. _Move_."

"I'll have you know I did hip-hop dance for a year," muttered Anna darkly, but she obediently swayed on the spot. Cindy pressed up against her body.

"Yeah, that's more like it. Having fun now?"

Anna laughed. "You bet."

* * *

Elsa couldn't tear her eyes away from the couple grinding on the dance floor. In her hand, the emptied bottle of cider was also grinding, the glass grating against the tabletop.

She could have sworn that Cindy winked in her direction.

* * *

"Ooooh, he looks _mad_," said Cindy gleefully, "I bet he's jealous I totally moved on and found somebody hotter." She thrust her pelvis forward, bumping into Anna's hips and making her blush.

"Where?" She attempted to crane her neck over her dance partner's, but a hand seized her braid, yanking her face back down. Anna squeaked in surprise.

"You're giving the game away, sweetheart."

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Cindy pressed her forehead to Anna's, stroking her cheek. "He probably thinks we're making out now." As Anna opened her mouth, the blonde quickly added, "_Thinks_. We don't have to for real, if you're uncomfortable with it."

"Well, actually I – "

"Anna!"

Her head shot up. "Elsa?"

She had pushed her way through the dance floor, standing there with one hand on her hip. Even in the darkness of the club, they could see her face and neck were flushed. "I'm heading back."

"Not by yourself you aren't!" snapped Anna, nearly bowling Cindy over in her haste to get to Elsa's side. "It's safer if we go back together!"

Cindy looked surprised for a second, before a Cheshire Cat grin spread over her face. "Yeah, you two should be heading back now," she said offhandedly. "Going sightseeing tomorrow, right?"

"I suppose?" Anna's brow furrowed. "I mean, we _did_ intend to, one of these days..."

"Good enough. G'wan, go on home before your carriage turns back into a pumpkin."

Anna, her attention fully occupied by Elsa, didn't seem to hear. "You'll be fine on your own, Cindy?" She slung Elsa's arm over her shoulders.

"Eh, sure. I'll find another date. I'm a big girl out for some thrills, and I don't have no midnight curfew." She punctuated the last with a cackle. The redhead turned her head to reply, but then Elsa took advantage of her exposed neck to nuzzle her face there. Anna flushed.


	3. Aurora

**Author's Notes:** To all those who like my writing for my well-thought-out characterizations and meaningful plots, you might want to avert your eyes from this fic, and try your luck elsewhere.

* * *

Elsa woke up with a start the next morning; the first thing she became aware of was the relentless throbbing of her head. "... Ow."

A mass of auburn hair dangled from the bunk above her. "Oh, you're awake?" A bottle of water landed neatly on the bed, in between Elsa's legs, and she yelped in surprise. "Drink that first, and then you can thank me after."

"Why didn't you force me to drink water last night?" grumbled the blonde, sitting up with a grimace. "Some best friend you are."

"Hey, I tried. But you were _sooo_ clingy for some reason. Wouldn't even let go of me when I tried to put you to bed last night. I had to lie there and cuddle with you until you dozed off before I could peel your fingers off me."

Elsa choked on her water.

"Shit – Elsa, you all right?" Anna hopped down, her eyes wide with panic, thumping the coughing woman's back.

"She'd better not be dying," groaned Cindy from the bunk across the room, "it's too early for it."

"Elsa's tougher than that." Anna continued rubbing soothing circles until Elsa's breathing calmed. "Here, aspirin for the headache."

"Thanks," she croaked.

"Don't mention it. You can go back to sleep if you're still tired. I'm heading out for some breakfast, I'm famished. Hey, Cindy – "

A hand poked out from the huddle of blankets, middle finger held aloft. Anna chuckled. "Fine. I'll go and leave you two to die in peace."

* * *

The next time Elsa opened her eyes, it was to the radiant sight of Anna holding a brown paper bag in her hands, an enticing smell emanating from it. "Breakfast in bed. I'll add it to the list of things to be grateful to Anna for."

She was feeling well enough to smile back. "My saviour. How will I ever repay you?"

"Eat up, and then we'll talk. How're you feeling?"

Elsa opened her mouth to reply, but Anna's hand was already resting on her forehead. It was blissfully cool on her skin for some reason – she was usually the one with cold hands and feet, something she attributed to poor circulation – and she sighed happily.

"No fever, but you actually feel warm," grinned the redhead. "One night of partying in Corona, and the Snow Queen is beginning to thaw out."

Elsa blushed and swatted at her laughing friend.

"You brought food," said Cindy hoarsely, padding out of bed and snatching the other brown paper bag from the table. "Can you be my new best friend?"

"Sorry, that spot's taken forever." Anna plopped down on Elsa's bed, making the mattress creak. "Right, Elsa?"

"R-right," she said, cringing when her voice came out as a squeak. Anna seemed not to notice.

"Anyway, good news, everyone!" She reached into the pocket of her cut-off jeans, pulling out three tickets. "I have tonight's entertainment here in my hand."

Cindy glanced at her. "Where'd you get those? More importantly, what kind of entertainment?"

"It's a long story. I'd just come out of a café after buying your kebabs, and then I bumped into this girl, Aurora, like literally. I dropped the kebabs and she offered to buy me new ones, _and_ she offered me free tickets to her club. How cool is that?"

Elsa shook her head. "No clubs. _No_."

"You don't have to drink like a fish just because you're in the sea, Elsa."

"That's not the point... Anna." The redhead looked up. "You've only just met this girl, and you're taking free tickets from her? Don't you think there's something strange about that?"

Anna considered it for a moment. "Nope?"

"So you think it's alright to just waltz off to whatever club suggested by someone you've only just met?"

"Hey, it's not like I got engaged to her or something..."

"It could happen. It happens all the time in Disney movies," interjected Cindy.

The blonde girl pinched the bridge of her nose. "I just – ugh. I can feel that headache coming back thinking about it. Anyway, I'm not going."

Anna pouted. "Oh, come on, Elsa. We came here to have fun."

"I'm pretty sure we can have fun outside of a bar."

Cindy snorted. Elsa ignored her.

"Please?" The redhead stuck her lower lip out, making her eyes as wide and limpid as she could. It was quite a disturbing sight for anyone else but Elsa.

Elsa swallowed hard. "... Fine. Just this once. But tomorrow night, we – " What they would do tomorrow night was lost as Anna squealed with glee, springing up and flinging her arms around Elsa's neck. "I love you, Elsa!" she shrieked.

"Love you too," muttered her friend, blushing hotly and looking anywhere else but at Anna's face. Cindy smirked into her kebab.

* * *

"The Spindle," read Anna aloud. "Yep, this looks like the place."

"I don't like the look of it," whispered Elsa as they passed their tickets to the bouncer and walked in. "Something feels... off."

Cindy shrugged. "As long as they have booze, I'm happy."

"Cindy, it doesn't take much to make you happy. Your interests are limited to booze, men, and shoes, not necessarily in that order."

"Guilty as charged," she smirked, already taking a margarita from the bartender.

"I'm gonna look for Aurora," said Anna. "She said to come find her when we got here."

"Okay." Elsa eyed their surroundings; apart from them, the clientele seemed to be mostly middle-aged men, all of which were busy pretending not to ogle herself and her friends. "... I'll come with you."

"No, no, it's fine," said Anna. "I won't be long."

"You're sure?" _Oh god. That old man was openly licking his lips_.

"Positive. Keep Cindy company, okay?"

"She's got company already," said Elsa dryly. "Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker are next on her list."

"You're funny. I'll be right back."

* * *

"Where is she?" Elsa tapped her fingers on the table impatiently; an emcee had just announced that the show was about to begin, and Anna was nowhere to be found.

"She'll be fine. Don't worry, she's a big girl," said Cindy.

Just then, the curtains of the mini stage slid open to reveal two poles. Elsa blanched.

"Oh god."

Two young woman in fishnets and skimpy leather outfits strutted out. The blonde one threw a winning smile at the audience, hooking her elbow around the centre pole. There was a sharp intake of breath from beside Elsa.

"Sweet Lord in heaven," gasped Cindy, looking like she was about to pass out, "look at those shoes!"

Music filled the room and the girls began to dance. The redheaded girl onstage was Anna.

"Holy fuck," said Cindy, finally tearing her eyes away from the blonde woman's shoes. "Those stilettos Anna's wearing are amazing. I want to make love to those heels."

Elsa rounded on her. "Doesn't it concern you that Anna went off to find a friend and has somehow ended up onstage in fishnet stockings and a bondage fetish suit?!"

Cindy grinned. "You forgot the stilettos."

"Forget it." Elsa stood up. "I'm getting her, and we're getting the heck out of here."

Her companion seized her elbow. "Whoa there. You can't just get onstage and pull Anna off."

"Watch me."

"Watch Anna," said Cindy firmly, pulling Elsa back into her seat with surprising strength. "Who knows when you'll get a chance like this again?"

As if to accentuate her words, both girls segued into a routine involving a lot of hip-gyrating. Elsa's mouth went dry.

* * *

Finally, the music stopped and they bowed out, followed by loud and raucous applause.

"She's not half-bad for a rank amateur," commented Cindy.

Finally, Anna appeared, thankfully out of her costume. "Well, that happened," she said brightly, reaching for Elsa's glass of water and sipping.

"That happened," echoed Elsa hollowly. "Anna, do you mind explaining to me how did 'finding a friend' turn into 'impromptu pole dancing performance'?"

Cindy leaned forward on her elbows. "Oh, this is gonna be a good story."

"Well I – "

"Miss Anna?"

All three heads swivelled in the direction of the unfamiliar voice. A small, plump, middle-aged woman dressed in a sober crimson suit, flanked by two other similarly-attired women stood at Anna's elbow.

"Briar Rose – Aurora's stage name – told us about what happened, and I must say, dear, that was quite a remarkable performance from an amateur on short notice like yourself."

"Uh, thanks?"

"With a little training, you could be quite a sensation, I can promise you," chimed in another of the women. Her suit was in muted green. "If you would consider pursuing it..."

"N-no! I mean, I'm still at university, I was only helping Aurora out..." stammered Anna.

"Pity. Well, if you change your mind, dear..." The third woman, wearing a dark blue suit, placed a business card on the table. "You can give us a call, anytime."

They left. Elsa and Anna exchanged incredulous looks.

"What just happened?"

"... Damned if I know. I think I need a drink."


	4. Ariel

**Author's Note**: There's a nod (or two or three) to that amazingly insane fic, _Ice on the Rhine_ by **IamInferior** inside this update. Also, kudos to **Dicta Licence** for the Catholic schoolgirl idea, which still has yet to leave my brain.

**Warning:** Contains juvenile jokes, attempts at crude sexual humour, and tastelessly bad puns. You probably already knew that if you're here, reading chapter 4, in which case it's your life and you decide what you want to do with it.

* * *

Elsa woke bright and early the next morning, immensely grateful for the hangover that did _not_ pervade her senses. As she climbed out of bed, she glanced at the tangled mess of limbs, bedsheets, and auburn hair that was Anna.

It groaned on cue. "My head," sighed a foot, "ow."

Elsa found a hand and placed a bottle of water into it. "Drink up. I'm buying breakfast, and after you've eaten you can take an aspirin," she recited. Anna was a consummate party animal, and the blonde's experience of nursing her friend through a hangover was far more vast than the other way around.

Amidst noisy drinking, Elsa got dressed and headed out, not bothering to even look at Cindy's bunk; if Anna was barely functioning, she didn't even want to guess at Cindy's condition.

* * *

"I know it's not every day you pole dance in front of a leering audience, but you didn't really need to drink your weight in Budweiser afterwards," scolded Elsa lightly. Anna moaned softly in reply, massaging the bridge of her nose.

It was late afternoon, and after the most peaceful morning Elsa had experienced in recent memory, Anna was coherent enough to be brought out in public. According to the guidebook Elsa had purchased, Corona was known for its hidden sidewalk cafes; presently, they were seated at one of the most obscure places the blonde girl could find (she had actually gotten lost en route to her actual destination but would rather die than admit it to Anna), waiting for their late lunch.

"Now, isn't this a lot nicer than getting ridiculously drunk in a bar?" said Elsa cheerfully.

"Too. Much. Sun." Anna pulled up the hood on the jacket she was wearing. "Hurts."

"You're not a vampire. A little sunlight won't kill you."

"No, but skin cancer might."

"Yes, the glass is half-empty, isn't it."

"That's a disgrace if it's alcohol we're talking about."

* * *

_It was all Anna's fault, really_, thought Elsa. _She shouldn't have insisted on deciding what they'd do next. She shouldn't have insisted on reading the map. And she really,_ really_ shouldn't have asked for directions._

"The Kaiserin Rapunzel Imperial Museum? You're in wrong part of town. See! You walk to end of this road, left, and walk past the statue of Eugene I."

"That's what the last guy said," grumbled Anna, "and it took us ages to find another English-speaking person after him, please don't make us search again..."

"Lost?" The speaker was female; a petite young woman with flaming scarlet hair. Anna ran up to her and seized her arm, all social propriety forgotten in her relief. "Yes!" she wailed. "Hopelessly lost!"

The newcomer spoke in rapid German to the man; he nodded, tipped his hat to them, and went on his way. "He thought you were looking for the Kaiserin Rapunzel Imperial Palace," she explained.

"Everything is named after Kaiserin Rapunzel in Corona," grouched Anna.

The girl laughed. "Well, she_ is_ the legendary Lost Princess, and she also turned out to be the greatest ruler in Coronan history."

"You're pretty knowledgeable about Coronan history," said Elsa. Now that they were no longer trudging aimlessly around the city, the spring had re-entered Anna's and Elsa's step; even Elsa was willing to be social.

"I'm currently on exchange from my university; I've been here for a couple of months now. I'm Ariel."

* * *

"So you're majoring in Marine Biology?"

"Yep," said the redhead, "I grew up beside the sea. Can't imagine doing anything else with my life."

"You're lucky." Anna heaved a long-suffering sigh, and downed the last of her orange juice (having been expressly forbidden by Elsa to order anything else). "I spent ages before I finally figured out what I wanted to do with myself."

Elsa smirked. "She changed majors more frequently than I changed clothes."

"Just clothes? So coy, Elsa. I believe the first time I told you that, you mentioned pant –" The blonde girl slammed a hand over Anna's mouth. "Mmmmf!"

"Excuse her," said Elsa, her eyes shooting daggers at Anna. "I think she's had a bit too much to drink."

"Excuse _you_, Elsa Brundtland," growled the redhead, peeling Elsa's hand from her mouth. "I could drink you under a table, do a bloody Sudoku puzzle, _and_ be up for another round of Jagermeister bombs."

"Any idiot can do Sudoku the way you do it; just fill up the little squares with numbers and make sure they're not letters."

"You think you're so funny," growled Anna as Ariel hid her laughter with the rim of her coffee cup. "But that has nothing to do with the conversation!"

"I know, I'm just making a point!"

"You two are really cute," said Ariel brightly. "How long have you been together?"

A stunned silence fell over the table. Both Elsa and Anna turned fuchsia and instantly let go of each other.

"We're not – "

"Anna isn't – "

"Whoa, you're not – my goodness. I am _so_ sorry."

"It's fine, really." Anna rubbed the back of her neck a little self-consciously. "We usually get told we act like sisters, so that was a little unexpected..." Elsa was so red, she looked like she was about to spontaneously combust.

Ariel glanced in between them, noticing how they were studiously avoiding each other's gaze. "I have six sisters," she announced by way of changing the subject.

"Six...? Wow, I can't imagine that..."

"We fought over everything; the bathroom, makeup, clothes. Daddy had the hardest time keeping order." The redhead snickered suddenly. "He thought he'd seen everything – diapers, carpooling to ballet lessons, science fair projects – but then my eldest sister entered puberty. He panicked and rushed out to buy pads at 2am in the morning."

They all laughed.

"Seeing that you appear reasonably well-adjusted, I assume he coped somehow?" said Elsa.

"Put it this way: when I was accepted to college, he practically sent me off with a royal fanfare." Ariel sighed happily. "He still worries about me, though. My sisters are all married or in long-term relationships, and I only just started dating Eric last year."

"All parents worry. It's part of their genetic makeup."

"Tell me about Eric!" demanded Anna, leaning forward.

"Eric's wonderful, but sometimes I feel awkward being with him – like, being _with_ him. Like a fish out of water, you know what I mean?"

Elsa nearly choked on her water. She pushed the glass away, deciding that in the light of where the conversation was headed, it wouldn't be safe to take a drink for now. "O-oh." Anna blinked slowly. "... Not really..."

Ariel smiled slyly. "Innocent one, aren't you? Here's a hint: I went to an all-girl Catholic school. There's a reason why they call them the fairer sex..."

Anna coughed. "Wait, what? Are you – "

"Bisexual, yes." She said it very calmly, as though talking about the weather.

"... _oh_."

"Don't get me wrong; men are lovely, but us girls? It's something else altogether. It's like that Disney song says!" She leaned forward conspiratorially, a devilish smile playing on her lips. "Darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me!"

Elsa felt very fortunate to have abandoned drinking altogether, because Anna did a spectacular spittake, and it could easily have been her in her friend's position. "People like you shouldn't be allowed to watch Disney," said Elsa dryly as she rubbed Anna's back.

"Well, I'm sorry. She got those legs and the whole package that comes in between. Don't tell me she didn't explore under the sea."

This prompted another round of hacking from the auburn-haired girl, and it was all Elsa could do not to roll her eyes. Her mouth was dry, but she didn't dare take a sip of water. Not while Ariel was still smirking at them both.

Once Anna had calmed down somewhat, she looked up at Ariel, eyes still watering. "I have to ask," she began, "do you still have your Catholic schoolgirl uniform?"

* * *

"I can't believe you!"

"... What?" Anna trailed after Elsa like a lost, confused puppy.

"I didn't – I never – " huffed the blonde.

"But it was a legit question. I'd never seen a Catholic schoolgirl uniform before; I was wondering if that sweater vest-blazer-tie combination from my ex-boyfriend's porno collection was a real thing..."

The last part was lost as Elsa left the room.


	5. Belle

**Author's Notes:** Hopefully, you readers will find it in your hearts to forgive me for the horrible, nasty things I attempt to force on you in this chapter.

Due credit goes to **Calenheniel** for a conversation idea which I have appropriated, almost whole, for this update.

* * *

"… Is she _reading_?"

"I think so?" Anna craned her neck, squinting in the direction Elsa was pointing in. She resembled a constipated strawberry-blonde giraffe. "Can't really see from here, though…"

"Stop being ridiculous."

"Do you have any better ideas then?"

"Just casually walk beside her table. Or pretend your friend is there, and then quickly backpedal."

"Really."

"What? … don't give me that look; I haven't actually tried any of those… okay, _okay_. Fine. _Yes, _I have. Happy now?"

Cindy leant in. "Actually, if you're asking me…"

"No, Cindy, we're not buying you another beer. This money is supposed to last us for the summer." Elsa glanced at her friend. "I've got my hands full stopping Anna from buying yet another duckling plush toy."

"They're so cute! You don't know what you've been missing in your life, Elsa."

Cindy slumped back on her seat with a muttered, "well, it was worth a try" as the friends got distracted by the discussion of the merits of stuffed avian toys.

Gradually, the conversation was drawn back to the girl in the corner, and the object in her hands. The blonde spent about three minutes sulking into her empty glass, listening to Anna and Elsa discuss the mysterious girl, when an idea struck her.

"Hey," she said, "how about I go over there, talk to her, satisfy your raging curiosities and see if she's willing to follow us back to the dorm? All for the price of one beer."

Elsa raised an eyebrow. "You work cheap."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Deal," said Anna quickly. Elsa shot her a look of dismay.

"Anna, you can't be serious – "

But Cindy was already up and smirking, gone into the throng of people. Elsa buried her face in her hands.

"_Come to Corona with me for the summer_, she said. _It'll be fun and relaxing_, she said."

Anna smiled sheepishly. "Isn't it?"

Elsa didn't deign to answer her.

* * *

The brown-haired girl, a distinctly disgruntled expression on her face, slid into the bar stool on Anna's right not long after. "May I help you?" she asked with a mild French accent.

"Uhhh… hi? I'm Anna?" The redhead stuck out a hand. The newcomer grinned.

"Should that be phrased as a question? Are you Anna, or not?"

Despite her misgivings with the entire venture, Elsa couldn't help but smile at Anna's baffled face. "She's had a few beers too many to be tackling philosophical questions," she interjected. "Yes, she's Anna, and I'm Elsa."

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Belle."

"Were you reading just now?" blurted Anna, apparently going straight to the point before her rest of her mental faculties departed for the night. "What book is that?"

Belle raised an eyebrow. "Oh, is_ this_ what your friend was going on about? My book?"

Elsa shrugged. "Don't look at me, I'm still too sober to come up with something as hare-brained as that."

"Point taken." She smiled at the blonde, who blushed. "Well, feel free to take a look," said Belle, passing the book to Anna.

"The Kama Sutra," read Anna aloud, and she blinked. "Hey, isn't this that sex manual thingy?"

"Yes."

"… Why."

"It's a great conversation starter," said Belle serenely.

"I can imagine. Talking about sex positions is such a good way to meet people."

"Oh, I don't mind. I don't really talk much in my day job at the library, so it's almost refreshing to socialize on the weekends."

Elsa, by this point in her holiday, had developed a preternatural sense of knowing when not to take a drink. Her spider senses, so to speak, congratulated themselves on another avoided embarrassment.

Anna was goggle-eyed. "You're a librarian? Uh, wow. That almost sounds like a... _stereotype_."

Belle laughed. "You're sweet, but I think the word you're looking for is 'fetish'."

"That too."

"I'm working on my MA in Linguistics. I have to pay the bills somehow. I have enough stereotypes going on without needing to tack on 'starving student' to the list." She winked. "Bonking in the bookshelves doesn't pay very well, though undoubtedly it's quite an educational experience."

Anna, despite the growing heat in her cheeks (in no small part due to the alcohol she'd been imbibing), looked very determined to exchange innuendo rather than being embarrassed out this time. "Oh? I'd imagined you to be the cunning linguist."

Belle's smile turned wicked. "Very clever, Miss Anna. Obviously you're very well-read, and familiar with the Engels you'll need before joining the Revolution in my pants."

"I'm sure you've got a work of art there, but I lack the Monet to buy Degas to take you home. However, what Matisse is that I get some Poussin tonight."

There was a stunned silence.

"Oh, bravo!" Belle clapped her hands. "Just for that, drinks are on me."

When she had left to fetch the drinks, Anna leaned over to smirk at a slack-jawed Elsa. "Looks like I got that beer back."

"Th-That's not it!" spluttered the blonde. "I-how did you –"

"You pick up a few things here and there," said Anna with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"_Things_, you say..."


	6. Al

**Author's Note:** Oh, would you look at that. Another update. Reinterpreted R-18 versions of beloved Disney characters? Check. Unresolved sexual tension? Check. Bad, bad humour? Oh yeah.

* * *

"Tonight," said Elsa, sitting up in her bunk, a determined expression on her face, "I refuse to go to the bar."

"That's fine, we can just go – "

"Correction, _any_ bar. A dimly-lit place full of drink-filled containers." She paused. "And actual alcohol," she added as an afterthought.

Cindy made a face. "Spoilsport."

Anna mumbled something, her voice made inaudible by the massive shag that was her hair. Cindy recoiled and dived under the covers with a vague threat of anti-frizz oil.

Elsa looked up. "Didn't quite catch that," she said patiently, clearly very accustomed to Anna's morning appearance.

The redhead pushed back her mane and said, "I really hate to disappoint you Elsa, but... I've already made plans with a friend. Tonight."

"How many friends do you have here?"

"Quite a few. There was that bunch on exchange two semesters ago..."

"Give me a really, _really_ good reason why I should acquiesce after _everything_ you've put me through over the past few days – "

Anna pouted. "Please?" Cindy hid her smile in her pillow. Elsa groaned and slumped back down into her bed.

"... _Fine_. Just this once."

"You're the best, Elsa!" squealed the younger girl, hopping down from her bunk, catching her foot in the bedsheets, and executing an elegant flip which Elsa had the foresight – or to be precise, years of experience dealing with Anna – to dodge. "I'm okay," she muttered from the floor, and the blonde sighed.

"What have I just gotten myself into?"

Cindy caught her eye and mouthed, _you softy,_ yelping almost immediately after as a pillow caught her straight in the face.

* * *

"So. Who are we meeting tonight?" asked Cindy, considerably more cheerful than Elsa was to be spending her evening in the bar.

"Al, last name unknown," said Anna. "I got to know him when he was on exchange at our university last semester; bit of a long story, that."

Elsa blinked. "Al? We're meeting _Al_? What's he doing here? More importantly, why didn't you tell me it was Al?"

"You'd bolt if I said it was Al from the beginning, Elsa, don't say you won't. And the same as us, enjoying his summer holidays. I was in a group chat with a bunch of our friends when he mentioned he was in Corona as well, and so we arranged to meet up – Al!"

A grinning young man sauntered over to them, hugging Anna warmly and shaking Elsa's and Cindy's hands. "Anna! Elsa! It's been a while. And who's this lovely lady?"

"Cindy Tremaine," she said, winking at him. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Oh, the pleasure's all mine," he said, returning the wink.

"Does the Al stand for Alfred?" asked Cindy cheekily.

He raised an eyebrow. "You must have slept through all your International Studies classes if you think a brown dude named Al is really named Alfred."

"It could happen."

"No way. I'd pick a cooler name than Alfred. It sounds like a horribly English name. Like, pip-pip, and tally-ho, I say, what?" His affected English accent was horrible, and they all burst into laughter.

"You haven't changed a bit," said Anna, punching his shoulder playfully. "I presume you're still shoplifting then?"

Al rolled his eyes, clutching his chest dramatically. "Anna, you wound me! I do not shoplift; I merely re-appropriate goods directly without a need for monetary intervention."

"Yeah, you totally do. You should have majored in drama and not criminal psychology – which, by the way, is completely ironic given your hobbies."

"Hey, a man can't live on a scholarship alone," he shrugged. "Do you know how much textbooks and tuition costs these days? Now _that's_ criminal."

"So how did you meet Al, Anna?" asked Cindy. She hadn't taken her eyes off Al the entire time. "You said it was a long story."

"This exchange student jerk took my Twinkie," huffed Anna. "I was just about to grab it from the counter when he swiped it, winked at me, and disappeared."

"Hey, I was hungry, and you were too slow. Fair's fair."

"Okay, maybe; but you didn't have to unwrap it and eat it in front of me!"

"You forgot my miming fellatio on it as well."

"There are ladies present, jerkwad."

They all laughed, except Elsa, who was still wearing her best disapproving Catholic nun expression. "I didn't hear _that_ particular story."

"Well..."

"My apologies, milady," grinned Al. "Let me make it up to you with a drink."

"I've had enough to drink recently, thanks."

Anna perked up. "I'll take hers, then – "

"– and Anna's _also_ drunk too much, I think," interjected Elsa, shooting a look at Anna, who returned it with a pout. "Who died and made you queen of me, Elsa?" she grumbled, making an attempt at snatching at the bottle Al was holding, only to be blocked by the blonde's hand. "I can decide my own alcohol intake, thanks very much."

"Someone has to take responsibility, since clearly you're lacking in that department." She deftly blocked a few more swipes from Anna. "Also, I might not want to spend tonight making sure you drink enough water, just like I've been spending the last few nights."

"You forget that other night when you got wasted," shot back Anna.

Al put the bottle down, watching them bicker, a look of amusement on his face. Cindy scooted closer to him. "Did they do that often?" she muttered.

"Oh yeah. All the time. I guess they're still not together yet?" he replied in the same low tones.

"You're looking at the inhabitants of Denial, population 2."

"Aptly put." He raised his voice. "Ladies, there's plenty of beer to go round. And I would be happy to keep you hydrated, Anna, if Elsa wants a break." His friendly gesture was somewhat marred by a hipthrust and a exaggerated grin.

"Leave off, Aladdin," growled Elsa. Anna took advantage of her friend's distraction to take the bottle. "H-hey!"

"Ooh, no more nicknames then? The Snow Queen's getting serious."

Cindy leaned in. "Snow Queen, eh? Now that you mention it, I haven't heard the explanation for this one yet."

"Oooh, it's another long story." Anna, mood significantly improved by the alcohol, leaned forward – only to be intercepted by a hand clamping itself over her mouth.

Elsa groaned. "Anna, don't you dare tell them."

"Anna, I'll buy you a round," said Al immediately.

"Anna."

"Two rounds."

"_Anna Iversen_. You wouldn't _dare_."

"Three."

The redhead giggled.

"Oh, what the hell. I'll chip in a round on top of Al's three," said Cindy. Elsa shot her a filthy look. _Traitor_. The other girl blinked, all wide-eyed innocence.

"Sold!" crowed Anna, banging her empty bottle on the table like a auctioneer. Elsa buried her face in her hands.

Al shoved the bottle in front of her. "Spill."

"She's called the Snow Queen," said the redhead, her words a little slurred already, "because she's never dated anyone in her life."

"No."

"Yes. Not for lack of looks, mind you! She's frozen out pretty much every guy – and a couple of girls – who dared to try their luck. Like, brr."

Al leaned over, chin in his hand. "I wonder why," he drawled.

Cindy mimicked the gesture, throwing him a salacious wink. "It's a complete mystery." Both shot wide-eyed looks of innocence at Elsa, who peeked through her fingers at them, her face cherry-red, temporarily at a loss for words.

"I knowww!" crowed Anna, oblivious to her friends' antics. "She won't even give them a second glance. None of the girls neither. Which is a pity, because they were all really hot. I guess she just isn't interested in dating."

"... Anna, you do realise that Elsa's sitting next to you, yes?"

She hiccoughed. "Of course I do. But I'm just saying. She's totally beautifuller. Like beautiful, only more, but not fuller. I mean, I wish I could stay that skinny. And she's sweet and does all these cute things. She's so hot."

"I agree," said Al sweetly, amidst spluttered choking sounds emanating from Elsa's direction. "I'd so tap that if I was straight. Whole new world and all."

"S'that the song from the Disney movie?" Anna took a sip from the glass Cindy put in front of her. "I'd like to take a ride on her magic carpet."

Simultaneously, the sounds of coughing, spitting, and gagging filled the air. Anna turned wide eyes on them.

"Did I say something?"

"You might have," gasped Al, thumping his chest. When the colour came back to his face, though, he smirked. "Though I'm not surprised, you carpet muncher."

"Carpet _what_?"

"You don't know?"

"What don't I know?" Anna looked honestly confused.

He raised an eyebrow. "Well, I'm not about to burst _that_ particular bubble," he said, glancing at Elsa and adding, "Care to do the honours, Elsa?"

She spluttered. "Wait, what?"

"You. Best friend." He pointed at Anna. "Anna. Best friend." Al waved his hands about. "_Knowledge_."

"Ass," giggled the redhead, giving him a hard shove.

"Not ass. Think of me as the... genie. Granting wishes. Making dreams come true."

"Oh, really?" drawled Cindy. "So where were you when my stepsisters stopped me from going to the ball?"

"I know that story. That would be a fairy godmother you need, milady, not a genie."

"Anybody with magic would be handy." Cindy took a sip of her drink. "Or come to think of it, anybody with a car, a platinum credit card, and wire clippers."

"Juvenile delinquent much?"

"Apart from breaking out of the house to attend my senior prom after my crazy-ass stepmother locked me in my room? Not really."

Anna held up her hands. "Okay. Back up, people. I'm confused."

"You're also drunk," noted Elsa.

"Besides that." She paused and hiccoughed. "I don't understand what fairy godmothers and proms have to do with magic carpets."

Al leaned in conspiratorially. "Actually, it's part of a huge government cover up..."

"Stop that," growled Elsa, reaching over to swat the back of his head.

"Such a protective girlfriend," he teased her, rubbing the injury. Elsa turned pink.

"Al, you know that we're not – "

"Of course," he said _sotto voce_, nudging a grinning Cindy. Elsa narrowed her eyes at the both of them.

Meanwhile, Anna swiped all their drinks while their attention was occupied elsewhere.


End file.
